Useless Things, Pt. 1

28 Oct

Here's a list of things/people I find useless and will complain about, no matter what. 

1. Your college advisor, probably. How many times have you uttered the words "Imma just do this my damn self" while dealing with them? Some of them are helpful, and by some, I mean maybe 3. You're a political science major but your advisor put you in advanced inorganic quantum maritime chemistry as an elective because wickedness is in their job description.

2. Omarosa's old White House position. If you can tell me what she used to do, kudos to you. Apparently, she was kicked off the White House premises in December and I'll just let Angela Rye sum up my feelings about her in this video from 2:08 to 2:45:

3. Black Mirror Season 4 Episode 5, the one with the robotic dog. SPOILER ALERT. Look, maybe I missed the point. It happens, especially with this show. However, when it ended, I didn't feel all my neurons firing simultaneously which is what usually happens after each episode. Instead, I felt heckin' bamboozled. My good sis killed the shoot stab doggo only to attract more shoot stab doggos and all of this was over a teddy bear? :O maybe that Teddy Bear was a reincarnation of Waldo and they were going to use him to save society! No, that can't be it. That's more ridiculous than calling San Junipero the best Black Mirror episode. #Oops #FightMe

4. Tarantula Hawk wasps. Not tarantulas, hawks, and, the tarantula hawk wasp. In the Book of Nope, chapter F*** That, verse Keep It, you find that when Steve Irwin made all the animals in the world, he released the Tarantula Hawk Wasp as punishment to humans for making any one of his animals go extinct, since we don't know how to have nice things. I'm sorry Steve, but if I ever see one, I'm either running away or killing it with fire. Its existence is a threat to me. While we're on the subject of animals that are out of pocket/wylin..........

5.  Australia. Functionally, Australia is not useless. There's the people, the culture, the food (#Bahbie) and all that. We can keep them because those aren't my concern. My concern is P. Sherman and his live action James and the Giant Peach ass spiders that live there. I'm convinced that the animal kingdom got cocky when they realized that Australia was a conti-country (both a continent and a country). Like, the 20 legged red-eyed mosquito eel dragons really walk around there like they own the damn place. Throw the whole continent in rice. Then burn it. But move the people first, of course. That should be fine, since Australians are already used to misplacing people who belong there. #DoubleBurn

This is called "Pt. 1" because I intend on adding to this list in the future. And if I don't, well, surely I will belong on this list, too.